Monday, March 28, 2005

Just adding a link to Babida revisited so that you can shuttle back and forth and marvel at how naive I was and how smart I've become. Not!
Just adding this link to Babida revisited because I can't figure out how to get to and edit that link on the left!

Saturday, June 14, 2003

Riah had her one-month birthday on 8th June. Andy will have his first father's day on the 15th of June. I believe there is a puja on the 15th as well for Riah. Again, I wish I was there. I heard Riah cry on the phone once again. I am going to make a trip really soon. Till then I will live vicariously through Madhu didi'd and Jared's experience. Take care!

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Everyone's been quiet for so long. I can imagine Andy being busy at work and then in the evening preoccupied with Riah and Anvita. I hope everyone is well. I really wonder what Riah thinks. Dad left a message a while back, Anvita and Andy were over, with Riah. On the phone dad said, "Aww she's yawning," in a "baby" voice. It was so cute. I wish I was part of that. I'm really glad Madhu Didi and Jared get to go soon. I hope I do too.

Friday, May 16, 2003

I am enlightened! Yeah. I heard Riah had a lot of shots and celebrated her one week birthday. :) Whenever I call home all mummy, daddy and Mitika talk about is Riah. I am upset I am not there. I have to agree with Madhu Didi, Riah is lovely. I cannot wait to see her and everyone else.
So, this blog is really called "Anvita." That's cool. Thanks for the enlightening us Andy.

Riah is now more than one week old. Mummy says she's really beautiful... and that she cries a lot. Although, yesterday apparently she was better -- staying awake during the day and checking out her surroundings. Must be a tough transition, going from a nice, warm tummy to the cold, outside world. Okay, okay, it's not exactly cold in India right now. (Unlike New York, where winter seems to be lingering eternally). I have to say, based on the pictures I've seen so far, my new niece is quite lovely. Most newborns I've seen look like grumpy old people. They don't become cute till they've been in this world a while and their circulation, skin, etc. gets accustomed to life outside the womb.

So, Mummy reminded me last night that Riah will tie rakhi on Jared! That put a big smile on my face. I hadn't thought of that. Jared was tickled to hear it too... although he was silent for a while when I first told him. Took me a minute to figure out why. I think he was trying to figure out how a little baby, who can't do very much, was going to tie something on his wrist! I'm glad he's going to have a sister in his life.

Bye for now.

m2

Thursday, May 15, 2003

A mystery resolved: I often tease Anvita by calling her 'Anveeda da bournveeda' (Anvita the Bournvita). No, there is no hidden message or meaning. I don't know why I do it, I just do. I think because it rhymes. If you say it really quickly and blur your speech a little, it sounds like Babida da Babida. Hence...the name of the blog.

Now I know I've enlightened you completely.

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

Hello again. Madhu Bhua's back. I tried to post something earlier today, but it didn't take for some reason. Not sure why. Sometimes technology baffles me.

Anyway, I'm back to make a correction. Jared read my last post and told me in no uncertain terms that it is definitely NOT cool to say "whatupwitdat" on the schoolyard. Apparantly, he learned that from the Chris Tucker/Jackie Chan movies that he likes so much. He tries on different accents because when he grows up he wants to be a basketball player or an actor. So, "whatupwitdat" is just Jared practicing his "acting." Correction made.

The pictures on the yahoo site are so cool. I can't wait till there are new ones. Andy's promised to put up more next week, (right?). Forty-six days till we board the plane for India....

m2

Monday, May 12, 2003

Hey! I just saved Riah's photo as my background. I also could not stop looking at the other photos. She is the cutest! I think she looks like Andy too. I think that slowly the resemblance will become more defined. But she has Anvita's nose, right? Madhu Bhua, I share your confusion, what is babida da babida? Is it some kind of baby talk? I was wondering why no one had written as well.I heard there is going to be some puja soon? I hope Anvita is recovering well. How are you all doing? I loved the caption "You think she sleeps all the time...No such luck!" I hope I can be there this summer as well. I cannot wait to meet the little one and everyone else. Riah has been in this world for 4 days now. WOW! Thanks so much for sharing the photos. Technology is really great.
Hello! It's Madhu Bhua again. So, after a flurry of blogs, including (some of my favorite) "monstrous" ones from Shruti Mausi, there has been silence for a few days. What's up with that? Or, as Jared would say "whatupwitdat?" He tries to put on a hip-hop accent every now and then. Apparantly it's "cool" on New York City playgrounds.

I hear everyone's home now. Anvita and baby Riah came home on what is "Mother's Day" in the States. That's pretty cool. Even cooler -- I heard Riah crying last night!! Called home, talked to Papa, and heard her howling in the background. I was so excited to hear that sound. Get used to it, Andy and Anvita! There's plenty more where that came from. :-)

Thanks for posting the pictures, Andy. What a cutie! She really does look like Andy as a baby. But then, I haven't seen baby pictures of Anvita... I love the internet at times like this. Can't wait to see her in person next month.

Okay, one question before I sign off -- what does "babida da babida" mean? I've been reading this blog for 9 months now, and still haven't figured that out. Anyone know the answer?

Bye for now.

m2

Friday, May 09, 2003

Hello! This is Madhu Bhua, (I like the sound of that!) logging in for the first time. Wooo hooo! Hope I do this right...

So, Ms. Riah Malhan is here. What joy she has already brought to all our lives! All these happy, weepy people, whose lives are forever blessed by her presence in them. Welcome to the world, little one!

It's hard to be so far away. Shruti and I had a long chat yesterday. It was nice to talk to someone who's in the same boat... living on the East Coast of the United States, while our hearts and minds are in a hospital in Delhi. My baby brother is a father. Amazing.

The timing of Riah's arrival caught me by surprise. Papa's premonition was right on the money. With a due-date of May 10, I really thought she'd be here around the 17th or so. She had other ideas, of course. This girl knows what she wants and isn't going to wait around till it comes to her! I think she's going to be a fiesty one. I like that. She'll keep Andy and Anvita on their toes! ;-)

Jared was at Hank's place when news of Riah's arrival came. I overslept the next morning, so didn't get to tell Jared he had a baby sister before he left for school. He knew Anvita was in labor. Hank told him the news after school and left me a voice mail message that afternoon saying "When I told Jared about Anvita and Andy, you should have seen the smile on his face. It was so warm and genuine... and I just wanted to hug him up. He was just such a mensch. Anyway, he's very, very happy and very touched." ("Mensch" is a Yiddish word that means something like "good egg" or "really good person." My Nanaji was a real "mensch.") The first present Jared picked out for the baby (about two months ago) was a soft, terry-cloth basketball. He's decided that he's going to teach this kid to shoot hoops, regardless of whether it's a boy or girl.

I hope Anvita's recovering quickly. A C-section is major surgery. She must be in some pain. It's going to be difficult for her to walk around for a while. We use our stomach muscles for so much more than we are aware of. Thankfully she has lots of family around to help. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THIS BABY!!!!

All this is making me think of the time Jared was born. I was so glad to have Mummy here. I don't know what I would have done without her. Jared probably would never have been bathed, for one. The first time we gave him a bath, (in the kitchen sink), he screamed bloody murder! Scared me half to death. The kid had a set of lungs on him....whew! I was so shaken up by that experience, the next day when Mummy said, "okay, time for his bath," my mind was racing. We could give him a sponge bath. We could wipe him down with baby-wipes. He really wasn't that dirty... anything to avoid hearing my little boy scream like that. Mum just picked him up, stripped him down, and went about her business. My heart was in my mouth. When she turned on the water, I had to go into another room. There was silence. Nothing. No screams, no crying. I walked back to the kitchen to find my mother holding Jared's head under the faucet. He had his eyes closed and the most serene look on his face! It felt like a miracle. Mummy said he'd just become used to the water. The first day he didn't know what it was. Had Mum not been there, after the first day, I would have never given the kid a bath. I think about that sometimes, when I hear Jared singing in the shower. Thank God for Mums.

We want pictures!!!

Okay, I'm going to sign off here. Hopefully I'll "post" this correctly. {Shruti -- I miss your "monstrous" posts. Please don't stop. ;-) }

I hope everyone's well. I miss you all. My congratulations and love to Mr. and Mrs. Tewari, Shruti and Mitika, Mummy and Papa, Andy and Anvita... and most of all, to Riah.

xo

m2





I tried to post something here yesterday.. didnt work tho. So hopefully it will today. Yesterday i was so mixed up in feelings and emotions, today i'm more relaxed. The piece I wrote yesterday, was acurate of my feeling as I was there to experience everything first hand. Well not all of it.. not from when her being in labour started from the night before. I was sitting at work .. as usual... knowing that anytime, any one of these days, I'd be receiving a call from Andy or Dad informing me.. that they'd be taking Anvita to the hospital. What i didnt expect it to happen Yesterday, the 8th! First let me specify, I work at nights!
At about 1am if i remember correctly I was on another call at work, I got a call from Andy's cell on my cell. I already guessed what it would be about.. i forgot that i was on another call.. got really excited.. forgot what to say on my call.. put the customer on hold.. and got the call.. It was Anvita, told me she was having labour pains..and they were on their way to the hospital.. I wanted to leave work there and then.. Anvita told me it would take a while. I was relived that maybe I would not miss anything.

Later, about 4, Dad called...asking my plan... What time i was expected to come home. I told him by 7:30am.
The whole night just went by at work...really slowly, cus i didnt want to be there.. i wanted to be with Anvita and Andy at the hospital. I finally arrived at the hospital at 8:30.

I entered the room, and saw Anvita on the bed.. breathing..that funny way.. that women in labour are suppose to do.
I asked her how she was doing.., she reponded.. by smiling.. and saying.. in alot of pain!
I would have to finish this later on.. my cab has come to take me to work.
Spoke to Dad and he is so happy. He's a little worried about Anvita. He told me Andy's mum had stayed with Anvita the first night. Mum had gone to stay with her in the morning. Dad said EVERYONE went to visit. Nisha Masi and family. Suman Mausi, Mamiji, Sudha Mausi, Shifa Shreya. Gaurav apparently drove himself to go see Anvita at approx 11pm. I spoke to my friends Mugdha and Nishant. They were so excited about it as well. Mugdha wanted to send Anvita and email. Nishant said to say Congratulations.
I called on the cell and spoke with Andy for a while, who was driving back to the hospital. He was exuberant and had managed to get some sleep. I called back later when he reached the hospital. I spoke wtih Anvita. She told me because she was so heavily sedated she couldn't breast-feed the first night. Anvita felt really bad about it. However, she did manage to breast-feed her later. While I was on the phone with her, Anvita asked Andy to take a photo of Rhea.(Madhu Didi on the phone yesterday had said that she thought Rhea should be spelled RIA and I concurred---not that my concuring means anything! I just did concur). The baby was sleeping and she looked adorable. Andy was afraid he would wake her. I spoke wtih mummy as well. Mummy was so happy. She kept going on about how beautiful and cute the baby is. I cannot wait to meet this little one.

Thursday, May 08, 2003

Madhu Didi just called. We spoke for a while about the baby, names and how far away we are. I am keeping this one short, as my last few ones were "monstrous"! I like to talk, what can I say?
Madhu Didi called me back after she got home from work, on my cell.(like 8:30pm EST) My phone was on silent, so it went straight to voicemail. She was so excited. I called India once again on Andy's cell. Nothing much had happened. Aunty had arrived, and had kicked everyone out of Anvita's room and was examining her. I tried to sleep. I have to teach tomorrow morning.

Mitika called from home. She had come home to pick up the camera. She also let me know that nothing had changed much either. She said it was difficult for them to call as no one had international roaming on thier cell phones. She was so excited as well. She asked me to call Dad and let him know that she had called. I was on the verge of sleep, so I told her I wouldn't. I did tell her I would call when I woke up. I am only thinking of Anvita. This is one night of restless sleep.

Approx. 4am EST Mitika called. She was bubbling with excitement. Anvita gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl at 12:09pm India time.The new mum was fine. Very tired though. (I'll let Andy fill in all the details, but I think Mitika said she was 2.7 kgs, which Mitika said, and I quote, "is normal, acorrding to everyone!" )Her name is Rhea. Mitika said Anvita cried, Andy cired and both the mums cried. She said Dad was almost crying as well. It was so emotional. Both mausis congratulated each other! (Rhea-get ready for your mausis!) Mitika also said Anvita had a C-Section apparently there was a cavity somewhere. Again I will let Andy fill in the details. Mitika added that she had taken so many photos. The baby had Andy's eyes. Mitika said she would develop and scan the photos to me ASAP (When have I heard that before!) Mitika said she couldn't possibly think of going to work now. She told Anvita she was going to spend the whole time with her.
I also spoke with Andy. I congratulated the new father. The papa/daddy/dad/daddi-O! (I know I'm werid!) He said both mummy and baby were fine. He also told me that Anvita had a C-section and he sounded exhauseted. He was getting another call and asked me to call on Anvita's cell as everyone was there. I sent my love to everyone and tried to catch up on another few minutes of sleep.

I woke up at 6am. Showered and ate breakfast. I called Anvita's cell at approx 7am EST. Andy picked up. Both he and Anvita were trying to sleep. I said I would call later. I just wanted to make sure everything and everyone was OK. I decided to log on here before work.

I cannot believe the little one is here. I cannot wait to see her. I don't know how I will contain myself at work! Congratulations again everyone. I love you all. This is your day, little Rhea. This is your day, Anvita. This is your day, Andy. May 8th 2003 12:09pm. Welcome to the world, beautiful stranger. Why is it we already feel like we know you? I love you all very much. Congratulations!

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

I am so far away. Waiting for the new addition to our family. Anxious. Excited. Emotional. I cannot believe my sister is going to be a mother. This will be the first grandchild for our parents. This new baby will fill in the footsteps of Anvita. Anvita was the first grandchild of Mum's family. Life changes so quickly. I think about the baby all the time. It's so weird you grow to love someone you haven't even met yet. It's unconditional love. I guess what parents say is true- you really don't know till you experience it for yourself.

I've been thinking about this little one since I found out. My biggest deal was finding a name.I looked on line. I know Anvita and Andy came up with Rhea if it is going to be a girl. Rhea is a beautiful name. For a girl, I liked Anya, and I also liked Aria (I know Anvita and Andy considered that one). For a boy, I like Neel. Let's see what happens. It's their choice. And also Madhu Didi's suggestions!

Since I last started this, I received an email from Andyinforming Madhu Didi and me that Anvita's contractions had started. They were calling Kum Kum aunty and take her to the hospital. Her contractions are 8 minutes apart. I called home and spoke with Dad. He was so excited. He told me that Mum was there along with Anvita, Andy, and Andy's mum. I called on Andy's cell and spoke with, as he called her "the hero of the hour." I was worried that she was in pain and that she would scream! We talked for a while. I am so excited. I feel really far away now. But it was good to be able to communicate. Isn't technology great? Madhu didi had already called and spoken to them as well. Mitika had been informed when she was at work.

As I'm writing this, I just checked mail and Andy has posted something on the blog. He asked Madhu Didi and I to post things on the blog- Just as I was typing! He is so sweet.

I know it's coming up on them really fast. I am certain they will be great parents. The love Andy and Anvita have for each other is rare. They will pass that on to this child and however many come after that. I'm unable to sleep. I have a cold and my body aches, but then I think of my sister in LABOUR PAIN!!! Anvita has probably already been in labour for 9 hours. Life is so much better when you look at the bigger picture! I cannot believe my sister is having a baby. There is going to be an addition to our family. I remember, Anvita, Mitika and I playing just like it was the other day! She looked out for Mitika and me, all the time when we were growing up. She continues to do that. When she met Andy, we instantly fell in love with him too. He also began to look after us. Isn't family wonderful? I cannot sleep. It's the 8th of May 2003 in India. Anvita's born on the 22nd and Andy on the 4th. Cool numbers! (The kid is going to think that their Shruti mausi is so weird when they read this!) Having a baby on the 8th and celebrate your first Mother's day on Sunday! What a wonderful mother's day present! Happy Mother's Day, sister, dearest. (May 11th 2003).

For the last few months all I have been talking about is my sister and her pregnancy to my students (OK I do teach them as well.) This last week, they have all been asking me if I've heard from my sister or brother-in-law yet every day.

Talking about teaching. I cannot wait to talk to the baby, when s/he is older and talk to them about politics, literature, feminism (do I see everyone cringe?!), movies- Hindi, Hollywood, Foreign, and OF COURSE cricket The whole world is out there for the little dear to discover.

I cannot wait to see this baby. I have dreamt about it. I have imagined it. But to actually hold the baby and to actually finally see the individual who is changing so many people's lives forever is going to be priceless.

I'm sitting so far away. When will I see this baby that I have grown to love? I'll miss the precious moments. Life. Life. Life. The miracle of Birth. The miracle of life. Life. I'm waiting for that phone call. I am so far away. Waiting for the new addition to our family. Anxious. Excited. Emotional.

I cannot believe my sister is going to be a mother. Andy is going to be “papa/daddy/dad/daddi-O?!”
Congratulations to my cool brother-in-law and my sister. Congratulations to Uncle and Aunty (Andy's parents); Congratulations to Madhu Didi and Jared. Jared will be such a cool cousin! Congratulations to our mum and dad. Congratulations to our Nani. (She is now going to be a great-grandmother- how beautiful is that? I'm so glad you got to give that to her, Anvita. Congratulations to Mitika and me as well. (the kids really going to think Shruti mausi is weird now!)

Anvita and Andy…. Life. Life. Life. The miracle of Birth. The miracle of life. Life.
I didn't realize how little time I did have. Or how prophetic Papa's comments were.

At midnight Anvita started getting contractions. Next one was at 12:20. Then 12:33, and thereafter varying between 5 and 7 minutes apart. Her water also broke - no flood, but dribbles. Called the doc, she said to come over. Went over. She said Anvita was in labour and we went straight to the hospital.

Odd how her labour kicked in the way it did. Apparently it usually starts with contractions an hour or so apart. Then during the course of anywhere from 6 to 12 hours they get to a stage where they're 10 minutes apart. Hers started at 7 mins or so!

Anyway - I don't have much time as I just came home to leave instructions for the guys and get Papa updated. Mom and Anvita's mom are at the hospital with her. Initially it was just me and Mom, but there was a time when the pain was particularly bad and Anvita started crying and said she wanted her mom. So I went and got her.

I hate seeing her in so much pain.

It made me want to cry when she looked up at me holding her hand in the middle of a contraction and whispered 'I love you'.

Ok. Gotta run. When I left the hospital the contractions were 3 minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds. Doc is expected by or before 7am and will give us a more accurate idea of what the rest of the day is going to be like.
Did I mention that we found out and were disappointed by the fact that I won't be allowed in the delivery room? Bummer and kinda ridiculous, in today's day and age I thought, but I guess you can't get everything! We're lucky we've got a gynie that pays such close and genuine attention to us, and a hospital that will take good care of everything. But yeah...bummer. I was a little apprehensive at first about being in the room (I don't want to see my wife suffer). But as time went by, I was getting more and more excited at the prospect - imagine being witness to a new life coming into the world. Amazing.

So yeah...bummer.
We went to see Kumkum Aunty yesterday. Says the baby has in fact dropped a little. Also says that even if it doesn't, there's nothing to worry about. It was a relief to see her. Again - no reason to be uptight if she wasn't here, but it just makes us rest easier.

Papa is starting to get a little jumpy now. He suddenly realized that today was the 7th and we're due on the 10th. This morning he was like 'Hey, we need to wake up and get everything ready. If the little one decides to come quickly, we've had it!' Made us all laugh because we're all thinking exactly the same thing.

So the cot has come out of the attic. Has been cleaned and the mattress ordered. It'll be delivered this evening...any time now actually. We've hired a nanny/maid to help out with things. Today was her second day at work and we were falling over ourselves trying to figure out what to have her do. She may as well enjoy it - once this kid actually shows up, she won't have much free time!

You know, I just realized that I'm close to what probably is the end of this blog and as yet, I have not even figured out how to put links here. I should actually go back through the whole thing and put in value adds. -laugh- I don't think I have the time for that.

Monday, May 05, 2003

Kumkum Aunty got back to Delhi this morning, and our family breathed a collective sigh of relief. It really wasn't an issue if she hadn't been here to deliver the child, but we're all just so much more comfortable with the thought that she'll be there. Anvita has an appointment with her tomorrow evening.

Anvita did speak with her today and said that she seemed a little concerned that the kid hadn't 'dropped' yet. Once I get done with this update, I'm going to pull out the books Madhu sent and read what they have to say about kids dropping. For the completely uninformed - as a woman approaches the final stages of her pregnancy, the child drops. i.e. it's head kinda falls into the pelvic cavity, setting in motion the things that have to happen for labour to begin. The plus side, is that if you're carrying the kid in front, or high, you get a fair bit of relief as the pressure on your internal organs lowers. Anvita is carrying in front, so she should have some (long overdue) relief.

She's also now officially on maternity leave. Her last day at work was Saturday, so today being Monday was the first day that she didn't go in to work. She says she's already bored.

Madhu and I were joking about it, but I think I really do need to have her help me out with some stuff at office. Part of her job is setting up SOPs for her company. I have a bunch of processes mapped. Maybe I should ask her to help me out with that - will keep her busy and prevent her from watching and waiting for the pot to boil.

There are a lot of things that remain to be done. The cot needs to be pulled out of the attic, cleaned, painted and a mattress ordered to size. Anvita's aunt has a pram that she's offered us - need to go pick that up. Need to get a bassinet (fancy name for a frilly basket that you put a baby in). Need to think up a name for a boy - for that eventuality. If it's a girl, we've decided on the name Rhea. Madhu has to give us a middle name - apparantly that's a tradition. Nice tradition though. :-)

I'm going to invite a bunch of people to become part of the 'team' for this blog. I think it'll be nice for Anvita to see what everyone around us has been thinking while I've been going on and on about what's happening in my head! So...anyone reading this, if you want access, you need to mail me. You should know my email address, so I'm not going to post it here! Please do ask for access and post something!

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

She's getting increasingly tired at work these days. Left early yesterday and took today off. I think she should just go on maternity leave, but she wants to keep working for as long as she can. Her call, so long as there's nothing wrong (medically) with her doing that, and the doc says there isn't, so... her call.

She's really uncomfortable and all the mothers we meet smile at her with understanding and say 'these are the most difficult days'.

Her back aches, feet swell up and hurt, head hurts, can't sleep, and today says she's getting something that feels like period cramps.

The delivery itself can be very painful. Very painful. Yet, all mothers agree that they forget the physical pain the moment they set eyes on their kids. Sandy (Abhra's wife), said the same thing. That is so amazing. Yet again I given another reason why I believe that no man alive can do what women do.

What must a mother's love for her children be like? I'm sure that is the most pure love possible.

Monday, April 28, 2003

The baby is moving around less than it used to - this is normal and due to the fact that it is getting bigger and consequently running out of room to maneuver. It was active this evening for a while and I instinctively found myself talking to it and saying stuff like 'hey, you're moving around today, hurry up and get out of there, we're waiting to see you'. I then proceeded to give 'the baby' a big resounding kiss.

Only later did I realize how strongly that instinct kicked in. At no stage did I realize that I was talking to her belly. Or kissing her belly! I actually felt like I was talking to and being affectionate with my child.

Wow.

Kumkum Aunty would have left Delhi yesterday morning. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that the kid doesn't decide to come out before she comes back. We had a checkup with her on Friday and after the examination she was confident that the kid would take at least two more weeks. If that is the case, then she'll be here in time to do the delivery. Well in time to do it. She's just gone for a week.

I'm starting to see why parents get so superstitious and paranoid about things. It's so uncanny. Scary. I haven't even seen this kid yet, have a very limited sense of awareness of it's existence, but already it occupies most of my waking thoughts and the thought of anything happening to it, or to its mother fills me with an overwhelming sense of dread. I keep thinking 'God, I hope nothing goes wrong. Let everything go smoothly'.
I feel increasing pressure to keep up to date here, though there isn't much 'new' happening. As usual though, a million things happen during the day that I mentally make note of to blog, but forget by the time I'm sitting with blogger open.

A bunch of new fm radio stations were launched today, and Anvita's been after me to find the antennae for the stereo all day. She finally found where it was (where she'd kept it for safekeeping!!!) and as I type this, is lying in bed listening to 'Radio Mirchi'. I can hear her bangles jingling against one another as she tosses and turns. Poor thing is having such a difficult time sleeping every night. And has been for the last 9 months!

We've both got a sense of 'the end' of pregnancy. Yesterday we were talking about how we couldn't believe that she'd had morning sickness for the entire pregnancy. Today we (I) got tearful talking about the fact that within a couple of weeks, it won't be just the two of us anymore. This last thought is both pleasing and saddening at the same time. Pleasing for obvious reasons and saddening because there will now always be someone else with us. It can never again be just the two of us and our world comprising of one another.

SHIT, she just walked behind me and into the bathroom and I didn't even notice!!! She may have been standing behind me reading everything! ...closing this window till she gets out and back into bed!

Thursday, April 24, 2003

So we've mentally decided to play music we LIKE now. And lots of it!!! -pulls out all the dust covered Doors, Sting, Van Halen, Bob Marley, Shabaranks etc etc- Finally got Tatto You on CD - I've been meaning to buy it for years but never got around to it.

So anyway...more waiting (though now we're waiting with music) for the baby to decide to come out - just a few weeks away now. There is less anxiety now but more impatience.

Anvita just asked me to get her something to eat so I took a break from blogging this to get her some boiled veggies from the fridge. She hasn't seen this blog yet (and won't till I gift her that book, which, incidentally, I started laying out yesterday) and I find myself looking over my shoulder constantly to make sure she isn't creeping up behind me.

She does know of it's existence, but hasn't seen it yet.
We've been reading all the baby books and dutifully playing classical music (which is soothing and relaxing), which is supposed to increase the kid's IQ and all that stuff. At the very least, almost everyone agrees that music you play while the kid is in the womb does seem to have a calming affect on the child after birth - we've heard countless stories of crying babies that immediately start smiling when music that was played while in the womb is put on.

It finally struck us that this kid has been listening to classical music for the last 9 months, but WE don't listen to that stuff very often..so we're creating a baby that has a taste for music we don't really have a passion for!!! I mean we like it and all, but given a choice don't listen to it every day, you know?

SO, we went out today and went nuts buying real music - Nora Jones, Rolling Stones, a few compliation albums, Bally Sagoo, Indian Ocean etc etc!

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

Coolers are running full blast and the house is freezing cold at night, and comfortable during the day. This made an immediate difference in Anvita's comfort level - the night the coolers were serviced, she slept very comfortably and peacefully...and has been (more or less) since.

She continues to suffer from aches and pains though. Her weight is up to 63kgs (138.6lbs). Her feet swell and back aches.

It was her birthday yesterday so we (somewhat) surprised her by calling a few close friends over and ordering out (Deez biryani). It was a nice relaxed evening, and she got constantly picked on for waddling like a duck. She really does. Waddle like a duck that is.

It is very endearing.

The intensity and frequency of false contractions is increasing. It was a while before we learned that those were infact what are called false contractions. Her stomach gets hard and she feels a slight ache in her abdomen. Then it goes away. That's a 'Brandon Hicks' contraction - or a false contraction. Apparently it's the body's way of practicing for the real thing. Amazing.

Her nesting instinct has also begun kicking in. She's been cleaning out the refrigerator, closets, drawers etc etc.

I used this to my advantage: She had, a few months after we got married, weaseled her way into the drawers in my table - i.e., taken a few of them over. I've been after her ever since to consolidate the stuff in them and throw away the stuff she isn't going to look at or use (my logic being, as with all my own stuff, that if you haven't used something in the last one year, you're not going to - and you may as well give it to someone that will appreciate it, or just trash it). By doing that, I figure that out of the 4 drawers she's taken over, two will get freed up for my stuff. She's vehemently refused for all the time that we've been married, insisting that she's going to start using all that stuff again...

SO...what I did, was start her cleaning out those drawers, and every once in a while I'd say 'Hmm, sweetie do you think you'll use this in the near future?' and hold up an offending item. Initially she fell for it, and would say 'You know, not really, toss it out.' Then after a while I think she started wising up to what I was doing and suddenly looks me straight in the eye and says pointedly 'You're lucky my nesting instinct is kicking in.'

-heh-

She then got tired, gave me a free rein to do what I wanted with the stuff, and left me clearing stuff out while she went and lay down.

I got 3 drawers back...*grins evilly*
Back from Mussoorie and Dehradun last week - finalized some yearbook issues and Nigel came down with the book on Saturday. We (Anvita, Nigel & Selena, and I), went out for dinner and a movie (Two Towers - good!). We went to pick them up from Abhra's place and wound up spending longer than ancitipated talking and playing with his brand new, 5 day old son. They all seem to look the same at that age. His son looks exactly like Sid's daughter did.

He seems to feel very much the way I do about a lot of things - amazing how the whole childbirth experience brings people together by giving them things in common.

I thought it funny that Abhra wasn't allowed in the delivery room so sat outside watching a movie on his laptop.

Friday, April 11, 2003

Ok, so at least for the next few months, the heat is behind us. After Anvita had such a difficult time yesterday, I got Tarachand (the electrician) to come over and service our coolers. In this dry heat, they're better than air conditioners. So she's much much more comfortable tonight, and I think should get a proper night's sleep. Well, I can hope.

Thursday, April 10, 2003

Another item for the record. Jared is 5'10" tall and wears size 11.5 shoes. At the age of 11!
Just for the record. Her weight is up to 61kgs (134lbs). Baby weight is 2.197kg (4.8lbs) and will increase quickly now.

My weight is down by 9kg (19.8lbs) and dropping - on a diet and light exercise routine. Long overdue, but I'm determined to get back into shape this year. I used to be able to run the 100m in 11.7 seconds, bench 275lbs and do push ups till people got sick of watching. I doubt I could even run 100m without resting, bench 150lbs or do 5 push ups anymore. So yeah...lots of things happening this year!
Woodstock yearbook is coming up soon. This year they want to hand it over to us earlier than normal, allowing for easy production and early delivery. I have to head up to Mussoorie on Monday. I'll probably leave on Sunday and head back to Delhi on Thursday morning.

There are a host of holidays next week; we were really considering Anvita coming with me - it would be a nice vacation before the kid comes, and given that she's suffering in the heat, the mountain air would be a welcome respite. Unfortunately, it is a longish trip - 6 hours by road or by train, and neither of us feel that she'll be particularly comfortable - also, she's about to enter her 9th month of pregnancy, meaning that if the kid is premature it could want to pop out any day. A big IF, but one that I don't want to take a chance with. I can just see us sitting in the train, her water broken, and looking at each other thinking 'what the hell do we do now???'

So, anyway, it looks like it will just be me on this trip. She's all upset and all though - I really did get lucky, she loves me an awful lot. I'm going to get all soft and mushy here, but in truth, I really did get lucky. There are times when I think about how much she means to me, and how I'd feel if anything happened to her, and just the thought hurts so much I can feel it.

Everyone has problems, and we have our fair share of them, but we're very fortunate as well. Small mercies.

We spoke with Shruti today and I told her about the time when Anvita and I sat down to make a 10 and 20 year plan of where we wanted to be in life at that time - essentially a wishlist with those timeframes. The first thing on our list was 'To still be madly in love with each other'.
Ok, there's something wrong with Blogger. Three times I've lost longish posts because the system refuses to take them. That's annoying.

We've had two doc meetings since my last post. Iron is back to normal (yay!), and everything is on track. We've also had another ultrasound (the second one) and all systems are normal. The baby apparently is on the top edge of the normal category for height, and the low edge of the normal category for its weight. Tall and skinny. Watch us churn out another Jared - 5'7" at the age of 11!

Time is passing very slowly now. We're anxious and excited about seeing the kid, but time passes so damn slowly.

Anvita is having a lot of trouble sleeping at night. She's getting pretty big, and the heat is starting to get to her. It's quite normal for her to have 2 or 3 cold showers after getting home from work, before bed. She lies down and her skin is cool to the touch. Five minutes (timed) later, she seems as though she may have fever, her skin is so hot! Doc says that can happen and not to worry about it. She's also big enough to actually be uncomfortable now. Whichever way she sits, lies or stands, something hurts.

Giving her feet and back massages have become not only daily routines, but several times a day routines.

I'm going to save this before I lose it all.

Friday, March 21, 2003

I just read over some of the last few posts, and think I should remind everyone reading this that the posts are in reverse order. That is, the most recent post is first, and the oldest (and first post) is last. So if you're chronologically challenged (i.e. if you're a doofus), then let the page load, and read it from the bottom.
We went to see Kumkum Aunty (Anvita's aunt and gynecologist) the other day. This was after a break of a month - as in, we were a month late; She wasn't happy about that. Finally it seems like the birth is drawing closer. In a nutshell - Anvita's iron has dropped too low, so she's prescribed some iron tablets and syrup to compensate. She's also given her strict instructions to not gain more weight (61kgs/134lbs, compared with 49kgs/108lbs pre-conception). Appointments are now every two weeks, rather than every month. Also the baby seems to have turned as it should around this time, to a head down position, preparing for birth. All systems go. Woo hoo!

We also talked a little about the actual birth and delivery etc. We're planning the delivery at Holy Angels Hospital at Vasant Vihar, where aunty consults. One bit of bad news though - she has to go out of town from the 27th of April till the 5th of May. So if Anvita goes into labour early, Dr. Jayshree will deliver the kid, not Kumkum Aunty. No biggie really, but I know Anvita would be very comfortable with aunty. Apparantly there is evidence to suggest that premature delivery is heriditary. Anvita was premature, Anvita's mom was premature, Anvita's aunts were premature... -heh- I on the other hand was a week or two late, so mebbe it'll balance out!!!

We're very lucky to have aunty involved. She goes out of her way to make us both feel comfortable and gives us special attention. This is something sorely lacking in todays medicine. We've heard stories from all our friends of how they have not been happy with their gynecologists and have changed just prior to birth, etc etc. We're really lucky.
Papa called Dr. Lakhotia (the eye doctor), and fixed an appointment for 2:00, yesterday. We went across, he looked at my eyes, checked my power (it's increased a fair bit in 3 years), gave me a bunch of tests that were like video games, and says that getting the new glasses made should get rid of the pain. He said that odds were that was what was causing the headaches, but we'd know only after I wore them for a few days. He's also prescribed some eyedrops.

I picked up the new glasses this morning, and they're great. The headaches are as before though, so lets wait a few days for that to go away.

I finally feel that I am returning somewhat to normal. I've lost 5 kilos (11lbs) in these two weeks - probably just cuz I've hardly felt like eating anything. My foot is hurting a lot though.

So in a nutshell, after all this ringmarole, I have a tooth half fixed, an ulcer that is being treated, a mysterious headache that hopefully should disappear in a few days, and a sore foot.

I also have an 8 month pregnant wife that has been ignored for two weeks because everyone's being worried about me. Lets talk about her now.

Anvita is getting really big now. Her stomach looks like a basketball! She's definately less moody than she used to be, but is increasingly anxious. Worried about labour, worried about being a good mother, worried about how we'll handle the expenses, worried about things that need worrying over and things that don't. She's having a lot of problems sleeping at night - tosses and turns a lot. Gets a lot of hot flashes. Her feet are swollen by the time bedtime comes around, and her back aches constantly. Giving her back rubs and foot massages is becoming second nature now!

We're both getting really excited now, and wouldn't you know it, time seems to have slowed down to a crawl. It seems like just yesterday when we were talking about starting a family, and now each days passes painfully slowly. We're both at a stage where we can't wait to see the kid. It's like talking about an old friend that's coming over for dinner, and you've been planning every little detail because you want it to be special. It's morning now, and dinnertime is taking forever to arrive.

The baby seems to have settled into some kind of waking and sleeping routine. Seems to wake up at around 6:30am (I can feel her stomach squirming around against my back!), and then again in the night at around 10:00 or so when she's lying in bed reading, he/she starts kicking about again. She says it happens at a fixed time during the day as well. I wonder if that has any relationship to what kind of waking/sleeping hours it'll have after birth. Who knows. We'll see!
So I went to PSRI to meet Dr (Col) Arun Kumar, a retired army doctor, who's speciality is stomach disorders. By this time, my stomach pain is bad, my tooth is still aching, and I've got a weird shooting pain in the back of my head, slightly to the left. The doc listens to me and says that it sounds like an ulcer and he wanted to to an endoscopy to make sure. I haven't been eating much (no appetite at all) and it was a morning where coincidentally I hadn't had breakfast, so we could do the endoscopy immediately. We did, and he was right. I had two ulcers next to one another in my stomach.

Finally we were zeroing onto the real problems, and I felt a lot of relief just knowing that. The doc put me on some medication that has helped tremendously (no pain!), has allowed me to visit office for a couple of hours a day, and has made me rethink my frantic and lightning paced lifestyle.

The dentist visits are continuing for now - it seems that my molar has one root canal with a strange curve in it, that makes the process longer and more complicated. I've had 4 sittings so far, and will have at least one more. But the swelling is reduced and the pain is more or less gone. The gumline is still a little inflamed and sore, but nothing I can't live with.

That weird headache on the other hand is a real killer. The pain comes without warning or precedent, and is overwhelming. I feel like an invalid when it kicks in. As long as it doesn't, I'm fine. Weird. Also inconvenient because I can't plan a normal day till it is taken care of. I can't be sitting in GE with my clients, and suddenly start whimpering and holding my head, you know? But at least I can be at office for a while to keep an eye on things.

I asked the dentist if the headache could be related to the tooth and he said it was unlikely. He, and everyone else I spoke with (including Dr. Tiwari, Anvita's dad), said that it was probably something to do with my eyesight. SO I decided to go meet my Ophthalmologist too (next post).
So I've been sick for a couple of weeks now. My left rear molar began to hurt like hell, and I was in the middle of the RIMC job, so didn't want to take time out for the dentist. Instead I figured I'd take painkillers, and once the job was out, head over to the dentist and let him do whatever he needed to. Crocin (paracetamol) didn't work, to I shifted to combiflam and flexon (paracetamol and ibuprofen) which eased the swelling and the pain substantially - well enough for me to be able to work, in any case.

Then we went to a wedding where I had some fruit juice. The next day, everyone that had that juice fell ill. I too developed extreme stomach cramps and nausea. Assuming the juice was the culprit, I took the usual 'bad plumbing' medicine for a few days. It didn't work. So I went to a doctor. He said I had gastroentritis, and put me on a cycle of antibiotics and painkillers. It didn't work. After a week, he tells us that it was probably related to my tooth.

Full circle.

I then make an appointment with my dentist - my illness by this time had kept me away from office for a week already, so I now obviously had the time. He had a look and says that I have what they call a deep pocket behind my last molar, where food particles get stuck and pus had formed. The pus, by this time, had followed the path of my molar and was deposited in little pools, that the dentists call abscesses at each root of this molar. The nerves going into the tooth carried the infection with them, and the pulp tissue inside the said molar was infected, hence the pain. He also informed me that combiflam and flexon can play havoc with the intestines and stomach, and that was probably where my stomach problems were coming from. He said I needed a Root Canal Treatment to save the tooth and get rid of the infection, and suggested that I see a gastro specialist for the stomach problem.

This was the first time I actually felt that I was talking to a doctor with a brain, so I dutifully took an appointment for the first sitting of the RTC, and resolved to go to PSRI (the Pushpawati Singhania Research Institute - a hospital that specializes in stomach, liver and kidney problems) the next morning.
Ok, about 3 days ago, I updated the blog with a looooong ass update. SO long, that the damn system refused to take it, and I lost the whole thing! So here goes again...

First off, everyone knows I've been sick, but just to make sure you know that's why this blog hasn't been updated for so long. Well not just sick, but busy first, then sick.

First the busy part... We finally got through the RIMC book - what a nightmare. I don't think we'll work with them again. My company isn't so big or so successful that we can pick and choose who we want to work with, but I really don't think the returns from this job were worth the effort or the headaches that we've had dealing with them. I cannot for the life of me understand how someone can increase the scope of the work, and expect to pay the same amount. Anyway, this isn't the place to rant. Suffice to say that my office and me personally were working 3 shifts, day in and day out, to get this job out on time - not for any fault of ours, but because of lapses from their end. But I rant again...

The other thing that has kept me personally busy is the Quadrangle. Between being ill and coordinating the RIMC Annual, even sitting in front of the comp would set my mind reeling, and my head aching, so I had to call on Shashank (god bless him) to come over and help me out with it. As it stands, the files are ready and we're sending it off to print today... the CD's being burnt as I type.

I'm going to upload this bit now, so that I don't lose it all again.

Saturday, February 15, 2003

Back from Dehradun - a hectic and really busy trip, but the upside is that I came back with 50% advance payment for the RIMC annual book. We're almost finished with the layout and stuff - they like a style that is so unlike anything we've ever done. I can't believe that we're actually trying to design poorly because the client likes it that way. Somewhere in this is a lesson to be learned. But I don't have the energy to think about it right now.

It was weird driving up this time. For the first time, I didn't go over 90 the entire way there. All I could think about was my pregnant wife at home, and how devastating it would be if anything happened to me. This is actually becoming a recurring theme. I find myself being far more cautious and protective of myself (physically) because the stakes are going up. I keep thinking 'What if something happens to me?'. Is this what life is going to be like now? Not saying that is good or bad, just wondering. There's a lesson to be learned somewhere in there as well. But again, I don't have the energy to be soul searching at the moment.

I'm pretty exhausted actually, and I need to go pick Anvita up from her parents house (finally!!! whee!), then we have to go to Ajit's for lunch (anniversary thing), and THEN we'll head home, and I'll catch some rest.

This is what happens when you party the night before you have to drive from Dehradun to Delhi, AND leave on schedule, dot on 4:00am (For the record: we had an open road all the way down - I stuck at 100 the whole way, and we were home at 8:15. Good stuff.)

The next week is going to be quite hectic. We have several deadlines approaching. RIMC, Quadrangle, Jared ad (yes, Madhu, we are on it!!!), Star Worldwide presentation, GE transcription....and in there somewhere I STILL need to finish that damn website.

Wednesday, February 05, 2003

Haven't posted for a couple of days ...Anvita's at her parent's place for a couple of weeks, and so I haven't been with her. Went out for a cup of coffee yesterday. I was near her office and called her. Convinced her to leave an hour early, and we hung out for a bit. I miss her!!! She doesn't look like she's gained any weight - looks just the same, though everyone says the rate of increase will accelerate.

I may need to go to Dehradun again this weekend.

Saturday, February 01, 2003

Back from Dehradun and the Rashtriya Indian Military College (RIMC) the day before yesterday. A hectic trip that has had hectic reprecussions. I'm surprised at the apparent level of disfunctionalism there - this is the feeding school for the Indian Armed Forces, a school that sends 99% of it's graduates to the Indian Military Academy, from where they go on to join the Army, Navy or Airforce as officers. You'd think they'd be better at communication! An interesting institute with strong traditions and heritage though. It is so different doing business with them than it is with Woodstock!

Anvita took advantage of the fact that I was away and (finally - I've been trying to get her to do this for a while) has gone to her parents place for a couple of weeks. I remember someone telling me that all pregant women like to be pampered by their mothers for a while. I think she'll enjoy her time there. I miss her like hell though!

I'm heading over to their place for dinner tonight actually. I was hoping to finish the website this weekend, but between dinner tonight, and Mom's Food Festival tomorrow, I doubt I'll get much done. I also wanted to set up some stuff for the MUD, but I don't think that will happen either.

I miss Anvita, but it's also nice to have a break. I promised myself that I'd never let her moods get to me, at least for the duration of this pregnancy, and I've been largely successful, except for one incident last week - I think we both needed a couple of weeks space from each other!!! I've been annoying her a lot as well. Apparantly anyway... -heh-

Pavan called earlier and is very eager that I swing by for a couple of drinks after I'm done with dinner, but I don't see that happening either. He was like 'hey, you're a bachelor for a while, come on over!' Lets see...

Sunday, January 19, 2003

Had a visit with the gynecologist yesterday. All systems normal. One statistic stood out: Anvita's pre-pregnancy bodyweight was 47kg (103lbs), and is now 57kg (125lbs). She's increased her bodyweight by 20%!!! That's insane. No wonder her back is always hurting.

The NYC party is here - they're doing the far east tour this time. I'd like to do that when we reach their age - travel around, and literally see the whole world. They've touched every continent now except Africa (well as tourists anyway - we all lived there for many years). Last year they did China and some of the former USSR states. I think they're planning Egypt next year.

We spent a nice relaxed evening at home with them yesterday. I think there's a dinner planned tonight at the ISKON temple restaurant - that is such a weird concept. There's this immense temple at Garhi (near East of Kailash) and they have a restaurant there! It's actually quite nice - the food is clean and tastes home made. The service is good too. I think mom and dad want to show them it. Reminder to self: Take Madhu and Jared there too.

Being Sunday, and with the RIMC deadline fast approaching, I have had a full day at office - with complete staff in attendance. Mom and dad have been out with Praful uncle and Madhuri aunty, and Anvita's been alternating between playing yahoo games on my laptop and sitting in the sun. I'm busy trying to wrap up our website makeover, and Sree and Shahid are working on RIMC.

Nice to spend the day with Anvita - don't get to do it all that often.

Friday, January 17, 2003

Ok, safe to say the nausea is back, though not as intense as before. She's taking her anti nausea medication again and that's making her feel better.

The other day I made her laugh while driving back home (after work), and when we were just round the corner from home, she suddenly looked really ill - I pulled over and she started being sick on the sidewalk! It was funny - it was actually just down the lane from home, so people recognized us, and passers-by were looking at us and wondering what was going on. One lady came up to her and asked if she was ok. Women bond instantaneously - Anvita just said 'No, thank you, I live just down the road. It's just morning sickness' and I could see understanding and complete empathy in the lady's eyes. She just smiled and asked if Anvita wanted a glass of water.

Rakesh and Negar finally got married today - after some 5 years of dating, and he being unsure, then her being unsure, they finally decided to just go do it. Didn't call any of us even! Just went to the temple in the morning and got married. Then in the evening went to the mosque, and got married (He's Hindu, she's Muslim). They've invited us out for dinner - depending on how Anvita's feeling, we'll go.

We're actually also supposed to go to this rip roaring evening at Astri's place - she's denying it, but I'm sure that she's celebrating something - there's a dj and all. Hmm. I wonder if Les asked her to marry him. Should take flowers. If we go.

Speaking of going, I gotta head home and see how everyone's doing. Praful Uncle and Madhoori Aunty are coming tomorrow from New York.

Thursday, January 02, 2003

Everyday, there are many occasions when I think 'Oh, I must remember to blog that', but when I get to actually doing it, I clean forget what I was meaning to talk about.

I showed Chad (from DR) this blog today and he had a brilliant idea. Turn it into one of those little books (aka Life's Little Instruction Book) and gift it to Anvita right after the baby is born. I'd better start thinking layout and stuff - good idea! Hmm...now I'm getting faced with this issue for the first time...do I make the book pink or blue?

Hehehehe....

I guess the design brief will have to state 'Color scheme: pastel blues and pink'.

I've noticed Anvita getting more obsessive with small things. Today after dinner she started fiddling with the dishes in the sink, and despite my asking her repeatedly what she wanted to do, and my telling her to tell me so I could do it and she could relax, she didn't say anything, kept getting irritated, and finally, the net result of 15 minutes in front of the sink was that the dirty dishes had been moved around the sink a couple of times, and had come to rest pretty well where they had been to start with.

She seemed to feel better after that though.

I wonder what it must be like to be a 5 month pregnant woman. Her hormones must be doing all kinds of weird things with her head. Add that to being tired, having bloated feet, feeling unattractive, having a backache and dealing with a pestering husband, and you get one pretty crazy woman.

We have it really easy. I don't think any man alive would be able to go through pregnancy and still smile up at his partner with unconditional love at the end of the day and say 'Hey baby, I love you'. Damn we have it easy.

Wednesday, January 01, 2003

Happy New Year and all that stuff.

Anvita's had her only taste of alcohol during this pregnancy. Half a Bacardi Breezer last weekend at Farah and Shashank's place, and half a glass of wine at Sid's New Year party last night.

For the first time since I've known her, she didn't want to dance on new year's eve! Good, cuz I didn't really wanna either. So we just hung out. It was nice. I had an awful lot to drink and woke up with a wanging headache!

Odd actually. We know that such small amounts of alcohol will do absolutely NOTHING to harm the kid, but we still both worry about it. I guess you do get superstitious and stuff when you have children. I got tearful last night when someone reminded me that I was gonna be a dad this year.

We took the camera with us last night. Forgot to take pics. Forgot the camera there.

Heh.

Saturday, December 21, 2002

Continuing as per previous post. Occassional nausea, kicks and movement getting stronger and increasing in frequency. I really should start posting pictures here. Hell, I really should start -taking- pictures! Need to buy a camcorder or something. I should make a list of things that I need to get, and put dates on them. How much does a camcorder cost? How much will the nursing home cost? How much will be reimbursed by mediclaim, and how much by Anvita's company? Need to check all that stuff out and figure out the finances. This kid is coming, whether we're ready or not. I intend to make sure we're ready!

Monday, December 16, 2002

Another three weeks down the line... I'm getting worse and worse with staying updated here. -mentally pulls up his socks- Well the big news is that the first punches and kicks are now making Anvita alternate between giggling, being moody, and having cramps. If it isn't one thing, it is another. I can't believe how much women have to go through to have kids. Figures that a mother's love is so pure and unselfish.

We got to see the other side of the coin yesterday. Anvita's office friends had arranged for this picnic at the creatively named 'Picnic Huts' near the Qutab Minar. Including us, there were 5 couples. One is planning to have kids sometime next year, two (including us) expecting, and the other two with kids less than 2 months old (and one with a 4 or 5 year old son). So naturally, the conversation revolved around kids. Most of the activities revolved around gurgling and playing with the infants, or trying to make them stop crying. Or of course controlling the little runt running all over the place and driving us insane. It was really pretty crazy, and Anvita and I looked at each other and were like "Oh shit....what we're going through right now is the EASY part!"

I am filled with a curious mixture of anticipation, hope, dread, excitement and trepidation at the certainty of the the 10th of May drawing closer and closer. It's almost as though the kid in her stomach is saying 'Here I come, ready or not' and we're like 'wait, wait! We're not ready yet!!!'

Heady stuff...

Nausea is definately gone, though it does kick in once every couple of weeks. She's forgotten to take her anti-nausea medicine a few times, and hasn't even noticed. I think she's stopped taking it completely now. Hmm. I should check with her. She's starting to get backpain more than she used to, and her feet swell up by the evenings. I give her massages occasionally. I should actually do that more than I do. -resolves to be better about that-

Sunday, November 24, 2002

Almost three weeks since I posted. We saw the first ultrasound - it's really quite amazing. For me, it was the first time that it actually got embellished that Anvita has new life growing inside her. We saw the baby - arms, legs, body, head. Saw its (his/her? who knows) heart beating, saw it kicking around - constant motion, the lil critter doesn't sit still!!! We both want to know if it is a boy or a girl - not that it makes an iota of a difference - but that is illegal here because of female infanticide - I can' t imagine how someone could do that after seeing the ultrasound. People have differing realities I guess. So anyway, we don't know. But I suspect it's a boy cuz in the ultrasound there was a little stubby thing between its legs!!!

Heh...lets see.

Anvita's nausea is better now. She pukes maybe once every 3 or 4 days. Increasingly tired though, and her back has started aching more often. She's still very irritable and moody.

We went over to her parents place (after a long time - couple of months), last week. She went in the morning, and I joined them for dinner. Apparantly she'd been irritable and fighting with everyone all day! I got there and Anvita was alone watching TV, Mitika was in her room, and their parents were in their room! Made me laugh because I walked in and without talking to anyone, knew exactly what had been going on!

Mom and Anvita are getting along really well. They clearly both understand one another a lot better now. Anvita was even looking for a small present for mom yesterday! It is really nice to see them laughing together.

Life is such a miracle. There's a bitch (as in a female dog!) near my office that has just delivered a litter, and I actually have a sense of empathy - I should send down some milk and bread and stuff for her. She doesn't look like she's very up on life right now, and I can imagine her nipples are sore, she's tired and irritable, back hurts... Life really is a miracle.

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

Been a while since my last post. Diwali came and went, still nauseous, less actual puking. We had the crew over for dinner and drinks on 'Choti Diwali' (Sunday 3rd November). I tried to make it so both Anvita and Mom did as little running around as possible, and to some degree succeeded, but by the end of the day both of them were exhausted. I guess that had to happen though.

It was a nice evening though. Mellower than usual, but nice. We had some caterers come in and make barbequed chicken, sausages, potatoes and paneer. Bonfire, booze. Lots of things to eat. It was a semi-potluck kinda deal, with people bringing something or the other.

Anvita did get to hang out upstairs with everyone more than she usually does, and that was nice. Usually she's running around like a lunatic trying to keep things organized. This time we did most of the organization in advance, so everything was much smoother than usual.

Amar got really tired by the end of it. And had to help clean up the next day, so I gave him today off, and he's visiting with his relatives in Gurgaon. He's a good guy and works hard.

Office today is very slow. The whole country is recovering from Diwali extravaganzas, and we have the benefit of (for a change) not hearing the phone ring constantly. Shahid and I are spending an easy day catching up with paperwork and enjoying the slow pace. Sree's off on leave to collect his wife from Kerala, and Amar, as I said is in Gurgaon.

Just spoke with Anvita. She's tired but good. Conversely, hectic pace at her office apparantly, and her weekend has got shot to shit. She's got full day trainings scheduled on Saturday, Sunday and Monday! ouch!

The books are saying that it's time we start talking to the baby (in the womb). I feel really weird doing that, and wind up making strange noises and stuff. Wonder if I'm scaring the daylights out of my kid before (s)he's born! What are you supposed to say? I have no clue. Anvita seems to do fine though - I guess that's a mom's instinct. So I just make funny noises and stuff in the hope that my child will start recognizing my voice.

We've also got this CD of classical music that is supposed to give the baby peaceful vibes. I wonder how much of that is about the music itself and how much is just about a mother being relaxed and calm.

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

Well we went crazy buying junkfood yesterday. I think we filled the basket.

Anvita hasn't puked for two days I think! Though she is still perpetually nauseous.

Thursday, October 17, 2002

True to resolve, I've been a lot better at picking her up after work. Today I showed up with a box of Pizza flavoured Pringles, and she munched em down like a little kid all the way home! I wonder if she's kept them in. Probably better if she hasn't, because then she'll keep her dinner in.

What did we talk and think about before this???

The affect on our lives is already evident. A typical day... After I pick her up from work, we either head home directly or stop off somewhere for a nibble because she's usually hungry at that time - often some soup or something light like that. If we do stop somewhere, then I usually head home with her, otherwise I tend to drop her off and get back to office for a few hours in the evening. She eats her first (light) dinner at sometime near 8:00 or 8:30, and usually manages to keep that down. When I get back at around 10:00, we have another dinner together - this is usually Dinner..i.e. everyone eats at this time, and she usually has a heavier meal. This is the tricky one. If she can keep this one down, then we have a nice easy night's rest. If not, then the two of us usually wind up coming back downstairs for my second and her third dinner anywhere between 11:00 and 12:30. This is the killer, because we rustle up something to eat, then sit in front of the TV, and wouldn't-ya-know-it the best damn shows are on at that time - so we wind up watching the idiot box till about 1:30 and then flip out because it's so late, and make our way upstairs to bed.

And intevitably I've asked Papa to wake me up at 5:30...so after sleeping at something like 2:00am, we get woken up every hour, on the hour, from 5:30 onwards, until I finally crawl my way out of bed, stumble downstairs, realize I left my glasses upstairs, say 'fuck it', pour a cup of tea, head over to the sofa with the Hindustan Times, and fall asleep behind the newspaper while my tea gets cold on the corner table.

Around 8:00 she'll come down, showered and dressed, throw together a quick something for lunch, grab a toast and glass of milk for breakfast, and whizz off out the door to get to work by 9:00. Then I'll get showered and dressed, and try to reach work before she does - something I occasionally do manage to accomplish...only because my office is a 2 minute walk from home.

She usually calls around 10:00 and asks 'What time did you get in?' I feel pretty smug when I can say 'Oh..about 8:45 or so' We chat for a bit, admit how much we're missing each other and then get back to work.

Then we talk around 4:00 and she's feeling sick. I tell her to leave early, and she says she doesn't want to today, but states with great resolve that if she's not feeling good at that time tomorrow, she'll definately leave! She reminds me that she wants to be picked up exactly at 6:00 so I have to leave on time.

At about 5:30 I leave to pick her up.

Hmm...I wonder why it felt so natural to start that chronology from the evening...???

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

Oh...heheh get this. We did discover that a couple brands of soap and shampoo make her sick. Naturally, the first thing we did was go through the bathrooms and kitchen and chuck em all out. Turns out though that we left one small bar in the downstairs bathroom. So after my shower last night, I went upstairs to towel off and get changed...yes, you guessed it..I walked into the room, and she started puking!!!

So I wound up covering myself with her favorite deoderant (I thought I smelled pretty sexy - even if I say so myself!), hanging out downstairs in the TV room for an hour before daring to venture upstairs again!
Anvita does get weepy sometimes for no reason. It's difficult to -not- get annoyed or lose patience, but so far I think I've been quite successful. The amount of love she has for me is just staggering. She misses me when I'm at work, thinks of me when she's sick... it's really amazing.

I think she needs my occassional prod to make sure she's taking her vitamins and doing her exercises and all... I haven't been too good with that kind of thing. I need to be more proactive - I often remember in the evening and ask if she did, but I think I need to sit with her, set up a schedule, and remind her when it is time to actually do those things.

Gotta bless Shiv Nanda for that off-the-cuff remark - I've never forgotten it. 'You can be reactive or proactive about anything in life'.

Think I really need to stabilize my working hours into some kind of schedule. The last few weeks have been rather hectic at office, and more often than not, Papa has been dropping her to work, and picking her up. She's ok with being dropped (again, that unconditional love kicking in - "he's tired, he should rest") off in the morning, but I think it means a lot to her if I pick her up after work personally. To do that, I need to sort my day out better.

Also I absolutely need to spend more time at Noida. I'm thinking I should get up really early, go for a walk/exercise kinda deal, get a couple of hours in at office, head across to Noida for the morning, and get back to office after lunch. Work through till 5:30, and then leave to pick her up. I also think thereafter I should be at home - I can work off the laptop.

Now there's an idea - actually use the office at home!!!

Monday, October 07, 2002

Anvita's starting *crosses fingers* to feel slightly better of late. Hopefully this will continue, and then we can say that the books were true! They all seem to agree that morning sickness usually ends after the first trimester. Note the usage of the word usually. heh. Cover yer ass!

Friday, October 04, 2002

Picked up Sharan from the airport yesterday afternoon. I hadn't seen her for 8 years, and she walked by us at the airport. I told Anvita 'hey, I think that's her' and went chasing after her to check. It was. Funny situation.

The two of them seem to be getting along. Even bonding. They agree that I have a weird streak, whatever that means. Me, weird? Hmm... Sharan experienced being around pregnancy while her sister was expecting both her kids, so seems quite sensitized to the issues. She really seemed to be concerned about Anvita's comfort. That's nice, I hope they get along. Sharan did an awful lot for me when I was in college.

I thought that there might be some sense of nostalgia (an eeny weeny bit) on meeting her, but there was nothing at all. Lots of affection. Friendship. She pales into insignificance when compared to Anvita. I'm so happy to be married to the woman I love. The woman who's having my kid. Holy shmoly, I'm gonna have a kid!??!

How whacked is that?

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

It's been a few weeks since I posted. She's still regularly nauseous...my heart goes out to her. And it's still unbelieveable how she's nauseous and hungry at the same time. "Oh I feel pukish...Hey baby, you want to go to Subway for dinner?" *heh* She pukes about two or three times a day I think. Imagine that for over two months now...

No real patterns of nausea are emerging. All the books say that there usually are some patterns, even if not always accurate. But this just seems at random. Actually, no, there is one pattern. If she lets herself get hungry, she gets sick. So basically, she keeps eating! Cuz she gets hungry like an hour after a full meal! She has started gaining weight now...says 5 pounds or so. On her frame, that shows!

Books are right about one thing. Your entire day, all your conversations etc are full of baby talk and pregnancy talk. You wonder wtf you ever talked about before.

People are starting to guess at her workplace. "Man, you eat so much, one would think you're expecting!" Apparantly they also keep eating out of her snack box! All our friends and family know now. The -close- extended family know as well...her aunts etc, grandmother...my masi's family..

Her second gynie visit is due this week. I can't wait to see the first ultrasound.

There's no real sense as yet of a life being created inside her. Even less of any 'bonding' with that life. All my concerns and fears and stuff are still about her. Books say that's natural. May last till even when the baby's born. Talking to Gagan the other day confirmed that. He said he didn't feel anything for Ananya till a few months after she was born, and even at the hospital, when someone showed him his daughter, all he had in his head was "Shit, I hope Natasha's ok".

I'm increasingly becoming aware of how much I need to get back into shape. This isn't related with the pregnancy (I don't think), but is something I'm thinking about alot these days, so it's found it's way into this blog. This feeling gets enhanced when I see Pavan and Ajit, who over the last few months have been running, working out etc, and are now reaping the benefits. I think I need to work at this now!

Thursday, September 12, 2002

Anvita's taken the day off from work today. Last night she said she might - wasn't feeling too good. This is despite taking some medication that Kumkum Aunty (for Madhu's benefit - that's their Aunt that is a gynecologist) recommended for morning sickness.

Update: I just spoke with her - apparantly she -is- feeling slightly better now, and is having lunch as I type this. :-)
An addendum to the McDonald's night: we got there pretty late - they had started wrapping stuff up and all, and seemed as though they were going to close in half an hour or so. So there weren't many people. Just the two of us and two guys that were very loud, and (I realized later) very drunk. I guess they got the munchies and wanted to grab something to eat before the place closed.

It was strange for me. I'm not a possessive person, but I think I am kinda protective. Being alone upstairs at McDonald's with my pregnant wife and these two drunk guys in the corner made the protective instinct kick in like crazy. I felt like a commando or something watching an enemy and waiting to see if he'd make a move. Subconciously I was measuring the distance to the door, figuring out how I'd stand up (if they tried anything), where I'd position myself keeping myself between Anvita and them while allowing her free passage to the exit...

Weird. heh.
Back to what I was saying before - pukey and hungry at the same time... That must feel so weird. The other night she had like half a dinner, and then ran from the table, only to puke it all up. I gave her some water to drink, finished dinner and then asked her if I could do something to make her feel better. She wanted to go for a walk, so we changed into sneakers and went down to the little park near home and walked for 20 minutes or so. I guess the cool air and exercise helped, because then she wanted to go grab a bite to eat. We talked about it a bit, and she thought she'd be able to keep McDonald's down. So we got in the car, I called Dad to let him know (so he wouldn't wonder there the hell we disappeared to!) and we went across to Green Park McDonald's.

She ate like a horse. And kept it all in.
It's disconcerting in some ways watching your wife go through morning sickness (which, incidentally, I didn't know is misnammed - the damn thing happens in the middle of the night all too often. Apparantly it's rare for morning sickness to actually happen in the morning!). She feels nauseous (sp?) and hungry at the same time. How weird must that be? I try really hard to understand and actually -feel- what she's going through, but being male, I guess I have a limit to how much I can really understand. She isn't even a month pregnant as yet - hell, going to doctor for confirmation that she is pregnant tomorrow (though I don't have a doubt at all), and already I'm wondering how she'll go through it all. Surely we can't be in for nine months of this!!!