She's getting increasingly tired at work these days. Left early yesterday and took today off. I think she should just go on maternity leave, but she wants to keep working for as long as she can. Her call, so long as there's nothing wrong (medically) with her doing that, and the doc says there isn't, so... her call.

She's really uncomfortable and all the mothers we meet smile at her with understanding and say 'these are the most difficult days'.

Her back aches, feet swell up and hurt, head hurts, can't sleep, and today says she's getting something that feels like period cramps.

The delivery itself can be very painful. Very painful. Yet, all mothers agree that they forget the physical pain the moment they set eyes on their kids. Sandy (Abhra's wife), said the same thing. That is so amazing. Yet again I given another reason why I believe that no man alive can do what women do.

What must a mother's love for her children be like? I'm sure that is the most pure love possible.

The baby is moving around less than it used to - this is normal and due to the fact that it is getting bigger and consequently running out of room to maneuver. It was active this evening for a while and I instinctively found myself talking to it and saying stuff like 'hey, you're moving around today, hurry up and get out of there, we're waiting to see you'. I then proceeded to give 'the baby' a big resounding kiss.

Only later did I realize how strongly that instinct kicked in. At no stage did I realize that I was talking to her belly. Or kissing her belly! I actually felt like I was talking to and being affectionate with my child.

Wow.

Kumkum Aunty would have left Delhi yesterday morning. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that the kid doesn't decide to come out before she comes back. We had a checkup with her on Friday and after the examination she was confident that the kid would take at least two more weeks. If that is the case, then she'll be here in time to do the delivery. Well in time to do it. She's just gone for a week.

I'm starting to see why parents get so superstitious and paranoid about things. It's so uncanny. Scary. I haven't even seen this kid yet, have a very limited sense of awareness of it's existence, but already it occupies most of my waking thoughts and the thought of anything happening to it, or to its mother fills me with an overwhelming sense of dread. I keep thinking 'God, I hope nothing goes wrong. Let everything go smoothly'.

I feel increasing pressure to keep up to date here, though there isn't much 'new' happening. As usual though, a million things happen during the day that I mentally make note of to blog, but forget by the time I'm sitting with blogger open.

A bunch of new fm radio stations were launched today, and Anvita's been after me to find the antennae for the stereo all day. She finally found where it was (where she'd kept it for safekeeping!!!) and as I type this, is lying in bed listening to 'Radio Mirchi'. I can hear her bangles jingling against one another as she tosses and turns. Poor thing is having such a difficult time sleeping every night. And has been for the last 9 months!

We've both got a sense of 'the end' of pregnancy. Yesterday we were talking about how we couldn't believe that she'd had morning sickness for the entire pregnancy. Today we (I) got tearful talking about the fact that within a couple of weeks, it won't be just the two of us anymore. This last thought is both pleasing and saddening at the same time. Pleasing for obvious reasons and saddening because there will now always be someone else with us. It can never again be just the two of us and our world comprising of one another.

SHIT, she just walked behind me and into the bathroom and I didn't even notice!!! She may have been standing behind me reading everything! ...closing this window till she gets out and back into bed!

So we've mentally decided to play music we LIKE now. And lots of it!!! -pulls out all the dust covered Doors, Sting, Van Halen, Bob Marley, Shabaranks etc etc- Finally got Tatto You on CD - I've been meaning to buy it for years but never got around to it.

So anyway...more waiting (though now we're waiting with music) for the baby to decide to come out - just a few weeks away now. There is less anxiety now but more impatience.

Anvita just asked me to get her something to eat so I took a break from blogging this to get her some boiled veggies from the fridge. She hasn't seen this blog yet (and won't till I gift her that book, which, incidentally, I started laying out yesterday) and I find myself looking over my shoulder constantly to make sure she isn't creeping up behind me.

She does know of it's existence, but hasn't seen it yet.

We've been reading all the baby books and dutifully playing classical music (which is soothing and relaxing), which is supposed to increase the kid's IQ and all that stuff. At the very least, almost everyone agrees that music you play while the kid is in the womb does seem to have a calming affect on the child after birth - we've heard countless stories of crying babies that immediately start smiling when music that was played while in the womb is put on.

It finally struck us that this kid has been listening to classical music for the last 9 months, but WE don't listen to that stuff very often..so we're creating a baby that has a taste for music we don't really have a passion for!!! I mean we like it and all, but given a choice don't listen to it every day, you know?

SO, we went out today and went nuts buying real music - Nora Jones, Rolling Stones, a few compliation albums, Bally Sagoo, Indian Ocean etc etc!

Coolers are running full blast and the house is freezing cold at night, and comfortable during the day. This made an immediate difference in Anvita's comfort level - the night the coolers were serviced, she slept very comfortably and peacefully...and has been (more or less) since.

She continues to suffer from aches and pains though. Her weight is up to 63kgs (138.6lbs). Her feet swell and back aches.

It was her birthday yesterday so we (somewhat) surprised her by calling a few close friends over and ordering out (Deez biryani). It was a nice relaxed evening, and she got constantly picked on for waddling like a duck. She really does. Waddle like a duck that is.

It is very endearing.

The intensity and frequency of false contractions is increasing. It was a while before we learned that those were infact what are called false contractions. Her stomach gets hard and she feels a slight ache in her abdomen. Then it goes away. That's a 'Brandon Hicks' contraction - or a false contraction. Apparently it's the body's way of practicing for the real thing. Amazing.

Her nesting instinct has also begun kicking in. She's been cleaning out the refrigerator, closets, drawers etc etc.

I used this to my advantage: She had, a few months after we got married, weaseled her way into the drawers in my table - i.e., taken a few of them over. I've been after her ever since to consolidate the stuff in them and throw away the stuff she isn't going to look at or use (my logic being, as with all my own stuff, that if you haven't used something in the last one year, you're not going to - and you may as well give it to someone that will appreciate it, or just trash it). By doing that, I figure that out of the 4 drawers she's taken over, two will get freed up for my stuff. She's vehemently refused for all the time that we've been married, insisting that she's going to start using all that stuff again...

SO...what I did, was start her cleaning out those drawers, and every once in a while I'd say 'Hmm, sweetie do you think you'll use this in the near future?' and hold up an offending item. Initially she fell for it, and would say 'You know, not really, toss it out.' Then after a while I think she started wising up to what I was doing and suddenly looks me straight in the eye and says pointedly 'You're lucky my nesting instinct is kicking in.'

-heh-

She then got tired, gave me a free rein to do what I wanted with the stuff, and left me clearing stuff out while she went and lay down.

I got 3 drawers back...*grins evilly*

Back from Mussoorie and Dehradun last week - finalized some yearbook issues and Nigel came down with the book on Saturday. We (Anvita, Nigel & Selena, and I), went out for dinner and a movie (Two Towers - good!). We went to pick them up from Abhra's place and wound up spending longer than ancitipated talking and playing with his brand new, 5 day old son. They all seem to look the same at that age. His son looks exactly like Sid's daughter did.

He seems to feel very much the way I do about a lot of things - amazing how the whole childbirth experience brings people together by giving them things in common.

I thought it funny that Abhra wasn't allowed in the delivery room so sat outside watching a movie on his laptop.

Ok, so at least for the next few months, the heat is behind us. After Anvita had such a difficult time yesterday, I got Tarachand (the electrician) to come over and service our coolers. In this dry heat, they're better than air conditioners. So she's much much more comfortable tonight, and I think should get a proper night's sleep. Well, I can hope.

Another item for the record. Jared is 5'10" tall and wears size 11.5 shoes. At the age of 11!

Just for the record. Her weight is up to 61kgs (134lbs). Baby weight is 2.197kg (4.8lbs) and will increase quickly now.

My weight is down by 9kg (19.8lbs) and dropping - on a diet and light exercise routine. Long overdue, but I'm determined to get back into shape this year. I used to be able to run the 100m in 11.7 seconds, bench 275lbs and do push ups till people got sick of watching. I doubt I could even run 100m without resting, bench 150lbs or do 5 push ups anymore. So yeah...lots of things happening this year!

Woodstock yearbook is coming up soon. This year they want to hand it over to us earlier than normal, allowing for easy production and early delivery. I have to head up to Mussoorie on Monday. I'll probably leave on Sunday and head back to Delhi on Thursday morning.

There are a host of holidays next week; we were really considering Anvita coming with me - it would be a nice vacation before the kid comes, and given that she's suffering in the heat, the mountain air would be a welcome respite. Unfortunately, it is a longish trip - 6 hours by road or by train, and neither of us feel that she'll be particularly comfortable - also, she's about to enter her 9th month of pregnancy, meaning that if the kid is premature it could want to pop out any day. A big IF, but one that I don't want to take a chance with. I can just see us sitting in the train, her water broken, and looking at each other thinking 'what the hell do we do now???'

So, anyway, it looks like it will just be me on this trip. She's all upset and all though - I really did get lucky, she loves me an awful lot. I'm going to get all soft and mushy here, but in truth, I really did get lucky. There are times when I think about how much she means to me, and how I'd feel if anything happened to her, and just the thought hurts so much I can feel it.

Everyone has problems, and we have our fair share of them, but we're very fortunate as well. Small mercies.

We spoke with Shruti today and I told her about the time when Anvita and I sat down to make a 10 and 20 year plan of where we wanted to be in life at that time - essentially a wishlist with those timeframes. The first thing on our list was 'To still be madly in love with each other'.

Ok, there's something wrong with Blogger. Three times I've lost longish posts because the system refuses to take them. That's annoying.

We've had two doc meetings since my last post. Iron is back to normal (yay!), and everything is on track. We've also had another ultrasound (the second one) and all systems are normal. The baby apparently is on the top edge of the normal category for height, and the low edge of the normal category for its weight. Tall and skinny. Watch us churn out another Jared - 5'7" at the age of 11!

Time is passing very slowly now. We're anxious and excited about seeing the kid, but time passes so damn slowly.

Anvita is having a lot of trouble sleeping at night. She's getting pretty big, and the heat is starting to get to her. It's quite normal for her to have 2 or 3 cold showers after getting home from work, before bed. She lies down and her skin is cool to the touch. Five minutes (timed) later, she seems as though she may have fever, her skin is so hot! Doc says that can happen and not to worry about it. She's also big enough to actually be uncomfortable now. Whichever way she sits, lies or stands, something hurts.

Giving her feet and back massages have become not only daily routines, but several times a day routines.

I'm going to save this before I lose it all.